Hi, I’m Sandra. Welcome to The Happyist. Here we transform through holistic, eudaimonic happiness. Best part? It’s easy and kind of fun.
So, we’re at the time of year for reflection and goal-setting, listing resolutions and planning how different we want to be in the coming year. And isn’t that the best part of a new year? I love it. We get a new page, a clean slate, and the opportunities are endless. Three hundred and sixty-five chances to start anew, evolve and become.
But let’s look at our track record for a sec. How good are we at following through on all those goals? How many resolutions get resolved? That’s not an invitation for criticizing ourselves because, nope, we don’t do that here. It’s a chance for a little introspection and curiosity. Why is it that our best intentions haven’t worked? Or why some did and others didn’t.
Maybe I can help with that. Here’s the thing:
If you want to be successful, be happy first. If you want to find your one, be happy first. If you want to get healthier, be happy first. If you want to be masterful at manifestation, be happy first. If you want to change your life in any way, be happy first.
I know that can sound trite. But it’s not. What you actually want starts from the inside. And that’s the good news. Do you realize how much power that gives you?
Be happy now. Because you can. And you should.
Please be sure to ❤️ the post if you connected with it and share it with someone who might like it. Cheers! xo
How?
I’m so super serious that the easiest way to get happy is to start saying THANK YOU to everyone and everything. Bonus points for saying it out loud. Appreciate everything you have, everyone you know and interact with, everything you experience, all the things you do and, most importantly, who you are.
It really is that simple. And that simple thing gets pretty profound, pretty quickly…if you are sincere about it. And you may not be in the beginning. That’s okay. Keep doing it because, soon enough, it will feel more natural and genuine.
Doing this puts you in alignment with what you’re trying to achieve. Why? Because you’re appreciating yourself, loving yourself, valuing yourself, valuing who and what’s around you; you’re defining your purpose and getting really clear on your priorities. That raises your frequency — your vibe — and puts you in alignment with your goals and desires. More importantly, it helps you regulate your nervous system. Because, as we’ve learned, it’s more than just mindset. You have to be comfortable with what you want before you can have it — not just really want it a lot and believe you deserve it. You do. But, until you truly feel safe with it, it won’t happen…or, if it does, it won’t stick. This isn’t a personal shortcoming. It’s trauma.
Yep. I just dropped the T-bomb.
Trauma is a big word and it covers a range of experiences. But what it is, really, is unprocessed emotions, not the event. And if emotions repeatedly go unprocessed, oof, that T gets bigger in size and depth.
If this explanation of trauma is news to you, I hope it comes as a relief, because, again, this is a reminder of the power you have to change things. Knowing you have the power is the first step.
Here’s an easy way to know if you’re really ready, regulated and feel safe about what you want:
Say you want love, and you picture your perfect partner and relationship. When you envision it and all that wonderfulness, do you also start thinking of all the things that you don’t want and what could go wrong?
Maybe you want to be a kabillionaire. Sit with the number you think you want. No, really sit with it. Notice how it feels in your body. Maybe it doesn’t feel quite right. Lower the number. And see how low that number goes before it starts to feel safe. Or do you think of not only all the good stuff that will come from that windfall, but the trouble it might bring, too?
With the success you’re striving for, does it feel good in your body (not your mind), or do you start feeling the stress and pressure that might come with it?
Be honest with how you feel about it because, no matter what, it’s fixable. It’s not a wall, it’s not a NO, it’s information. And some of that information is subtle, so tune into it. Because once you have it, you know what needs to be addressed. More power.
How do you go about addressing it, getting comfortable, being regulated and feeling safe? Appreciation. Yep, we are back to THANK YOU. Appreciation incorporates acceptance, forgiveness and clarity. It expands you. It shifts your energy. It gives you focus. It raises your vibe.
This, my friends, is what being happy is. It may not be the happy we are taught or shown, but it is the real deal. Happiness is calm and peaceful, sure and secure, delighted and entertained, confident and clear. It’s not a big storm of an emotion. It’s centeredness.
That’s why I encourage you to be happy now. Right now. Because you can and you should, dammit! Start today. Grow that happiness deep and strong, and watch how you and your life change, and what good stuff unfolds. It’s all yours to have. And now you know how to have it. Feel what you need to feel. And appreciate everything.
I’m not just blowing smoke or trying to paint you a pretty picture. I know this from experience. I’ve been my own guinea pig with this. And this cynic was shown the light.
I ask this question from time to time: Who do you think is stronger, an angry person or a happy person? No matter your answer, think of it this way: How easy is it to sustain anger as opposed to sustaining happiness? Anger is a muscle we have built over time. It’s a triggered reaction. It’s habit. And it’s rational, right? Who wouldn’t be angry under these circumstances?
We’re told that happiness is something to wait for. Something to postpone, because there are all these things we have to do first before we’ve earned it or deserve it. That’s just so effing wrong. Happiness is a muscle, too. We just aren’t encouraged to work on it.
Besides, being unhappy keeps you compliant. In your place. You are told to expect less and be satisfied with what you do get. And, instead of focusing on you, your purpose and value, you’re told to focus on getting stuff, things that will put money in the pockets of others while you go deeper into debt, and further into discontent. Sound familiar?
So, when I cram happiness in your beautiful face, it’s for a valid reason. Because it’s worth it. Because you’re worth it. And because it really and truly is a fabulous act of rebellion. When you aren’t angry and scared, you are in your power. And that’s how I hope you’ll go into the new year. I wish you a very happy one.
Be happy now. Because you really can and you absolutely should.
Don’t forget to click that little heart if this helped in any way, and share your insights and victories in the comments or chat. If you’re interested in working together 1:1 or have a topic you’d like covered, send me a DM.
Thanks so much, friends. I love that you’re here. See you next week. xo
The podcast is coming soon. Available everywhere you listen (except Amazon). Add it to your Up Next list.
