How To Know It’s Working

Hi, I’m Sandra. Welcome to The Happyist. Here, we get unstuck through appreciation and holistic happiness. Best part? It’s easy and kind of fun.

So, when we start doing transformative work, we can wonder if it’s actually working, right? Like, is all this effort worth it? Because the work is WORK. And we are falsely taught to believe that what is “meant to be”, what is right for us, happens quickly. And sometimes it does.

Let’s take a look at the times things have happened for us quickly. How often have those things lasted? When they ended or changed, did it cause us pain? Because things will end and change — that’s part of growth and evolving. The difference is when we grow and evolve, and things end or change, it can ache or hurt some, but it doesn’t devastate.

Sometimes, things can come to us fast and they may not stay because we really weren’t ready for them. That can be hard to hear, but sit with that and see if some part doesn’t ring true. Did you just hear a bell?

Humans, for the most part, are terribly impatient. We want what we want, right now. And if it doesn’t happen right now, fuck it! Then it wasn’t meant to be. And we’re off to the next thing, hoping it will be easier.

Been there. Lived there.

Here’s what I’ve come to learn: Real change, the kind that sticks, takes time. And that’s a good thing. Why? Because we can fully prepare for it. Get ourselves good with it. Feel safe with it.

In order to make room for what we want, we have to let go of stuff that no longer serves us. That can take time. And we have to believe that what we truly want belongs to us. Not just talk a good game. Believe it in our bones. And that can be the tricky part. Tricky parts also have been known to take time.

So how do we build the certainty we need to have what we want in the shortest amount of time?

By growing eudaimonic happiness with self-love and self-worth, a sense of purpose and appreciation. That’s where the slow-build comes from. It’s creating an unshakable foundation for what we want to have and being in flow with life.

Just remember: Slow is smooth and smooth is fast. Trust the process and the work you are doing.

How do I know things have changed for me?

I’ve mentioned before that it was always the rug being pulled out from under me the moment I got ahead. To the point you could almost set a clock to it. That has finally stopped happening. What proof do I have? I’ve mentioned this before, too, but it bears repeating.

At the end of last December, with money from my year-end bonus — which was more than I expected, a pleasant surprise — I paid off my loan and put new tires on my car. It’s gauche to talk about money in actual numbers, but I want to give you those details to fully illustrate my point.