Hi, I’m Sandra, aka The Happyist. Before we dive into the course, I wanted to give a little color.
Believe it or not, there are two types of happiness. And when I learned that, it blew my mind…and it sort of pissed me off.
There is hedonic happiness and eudaimonic happiness, and that happiness that we are taught to go after is the hedonic variety — people, places, material things. And, if you haven’t noticed, that happiness doesn’t last. We go after something, get it, then, soon after, hear a big whomp whomp, and the deflation sets in. We wonder what the hell is going on?! So we think we need bigger, better, more. And more disappointment, emptiness and further pursuit ensues.
Here’s how I look at it. Happiness is a piece of cake. A layer cake. Cut yourself a slice and take a look at how it’s structured. There is more cake — or sponge, as Paul and Prue would say — than frosting, right? Too much frosting will overwhelm the cake. And, if you have really good sponge, you really don’t need frosting. Angelfood cake defies being frosted. You might be able to drizzle some icing or berry compote on it, but good luck frosting it.
Hedonic happiness is frosting. Eudaimonic happiness is the sponge, the cake of the cake. Eudaimonic happiness is what we need to focus on.
What is that exactly? It’s the happiness that comes from within. It’s the stuff that lasts, that gives us a solid foundation. It’s having a sense of self, self-worth, self-respect, self-compassion, a sense of purpose and, yes, appreciation. That is where true happiness starts and what we will be focusing on.
There’s a fun, free explainer on this at my website: thehappyist.me. Sign up in the footer of any page, if the annoying little pop-up doesn’t get you first, and you’ll be emailed a link to get the PDF. Or become a subscriber at TheHappyist.substack.com, and you’ll also receive the link to it in your welcome email.
There’s nothing wrong with hedonic happiness. I’m not trying to vilify it. I love frosting, too. But it’s not fulfilling, sustaining or as important as the eudaimonic variety.
The other thing is, we don’t have to pursue happiness. It’s right there in us, waiting to be nurtured and cultivated. It’s our natural state of being.
Do me a favor and close your eyes for a sec. Go ahead. Now, picture a world full of truly happy people. Let that sink in. Pretty wonderful, right? Think of all the things we can do and change just by being happy. Sure, there’s more work to do than that. But happiness is where we need to being. Happiness leads to success, not the other way around. So let’s do this. See you on the first. xo
