Hi, I’m Sandra. Welcome to The Happyist. Here we transform through holistic, eudaimonic happiness. Best part? It’s easy and kind of fun.
This marks my 53rd post here as The Happyist on Substack. That means the first year is over, and we are starting a second.
But this was already my second Substack. My first, A Sassy Little Substack, was fun and had a fair number of subscribers, but was no longer what I wanted to write about. I wanted to do this work. And, boy, did I pick a great time to go forth talking about eudaimonic wellbeing and how to be happy as we watch our democracy crumble.
Aries. We’re always a little ahead of our time.
But I do think I picked the right time. As a matter of fact, I know it. Because it was the first version of this awfulness that brought me to my emotional knees. I was miserable then. And that wasn’t even half as bad compared to this season of the tangerine-toned shitshow.
We misunderstand what happiness is. And I’m beginning to think that’s by design. Because happy people know BS when they see it. Happy people are terrible consumers, because they don’t need things to fill any voids. They do that themselves, by working on their eudaimonic wellbeing. They don’t fall for cons or cults because happy people aren’t gullible or needy. Happy people also aren’t interested in maligning or suppressing other people. Happy people know there’s plenty to go around. Happy people want other people to be happy, and to do well.
So, how would this current system of society work if everyone was wise to what happiness actually is?
It fucking wouldn’t.
This situation is what unhappiness has bought us. “The Great Unhappiness”, as I like to call it. And it’s not our fault. It’s how the game was rigged. The playing field was never meant to be equal or fair or even. Now, we see that clearly. So, what are we going to do about it?
Opening a window, sticking your head out of it and, with a shaking fist, scream, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore,” is not the way forward. Though, it may feel cathartic for a bit. It’s anger and fear that got us here. More of that is just the same stuff on a different day. The truly effective and utterly rebellious act is to be fucking happy.
Now, the feeling of happiness is also misunderstood. It is not giddy or euphoric. It’s actually calm and centering and grounded. It’s a feeling of certainty and satisfaction. It’s knowing that, no matter what, you’ve got this. Because you know who you are, you know your worth, you understand your purpose, and you are deep in your appreciation.
You pour from a full cup and you aren’t looking for anyone else to fill yours — though, you might appreciate the gesture — because you’ve got you covered. You are connected to your community, not through need or a desire to be validated, but because you enjoy contributing and the exchange of that energy found on common ground.
The other thing is, you don’t just feel happy all the time. Happiness is the baseline on which other emotions dance. You can be happy and angry, happy and sad, happy and disappointed, happy and excited, happy and confused, but you can’t be happy and hopeless. That’s the one emotion that doesn’t mix. Eudaimonic wellbeing allows for the solution to appear, to be possible, to be worth working toward. That isn’t toxic positivity, it’s understanding that things always work out when we put forth effort. It may not look the way we want it to or feel the way we hoped for, but it’s what came about. And now we get to work with that to create what will be better. That’s not Pollyanna bullshit; it’s pragmatism.
Eudaimonic wellbeing brings us clear perspective and resilience, and inner strength that is pretty fucking comforting. And the easiest way to get all of this is by starting with Thank You and having appreciation for every effing thing in your life. Yep, even that annoying shit, because — if you pay attention — it’s there to serve a lesson.
As a part of my appreciation, I’m starting a new series: “The Best Thing I’ve Ever Done.” This will be free for all and will post on Fridays. I can’t guarantee a time or a strict format, but I can say you’ll get to know me a little better. Quirky might be an understatement. Particular could be another way to say it.
I’m also opening up the archive. Posts that are a year old or more will be part of a free sub. I know. Big whoop, right? Hey, the content is evergreen, so it remains relevant. This is about being happy, not what I did last weekend.
A friend of mine on Substack chided me for not having more free posts. I understand her viewpoint. Give it away for free and those who value it will pay. Perhaps. But she doesn’t give away her art here pro bono. She doesn’t provide freebies in her actual business. And this is my actual business. Every post has a free preview, which I hope provides something of value, and insight as to who I am, what I’m about, what I do and how I go about doing it. If that’s not enough for some people, that’s understandable.
I do try to make this something of value. Paid subscribers get a free hour with me once a month with Last Saturday Salons. Annual subscribers get free 1:1s. I do that because I value their generosity and interest in what we do here. So, this isn’t a money-grab but an exchange. The cost of a monthly sub is two lattes. Fairly budget-friendly.
There are two things I love dearly: discounts and celebrating birthdays. So, I’m offering 20% off all subscriptions. The discount will last for a year, whether you go for a monthly, an annual or become a founding member. This offer expires after my birthday in April. I hope you’ll take advantage of the sale. And, if nothing else, test drive The Happyist with that free week offer any time you like. Now there will be more to scroll through.
Back to firsts…Another one of those is the first season of Happy Rebel Podcast, which wraps next week with its tenth episode. I’m trying to keep the eps in the 10-15-minute zone, because who needs another fucking podcast, right? Well, maybe we do.
This is my second podcast or, really, the third. My first was a lockdown project called “A Sassy Little Podcast for Getting Over It”, named after my first book. Its next, very short-lived iteration, was “A Sassy Little Podcast”.
Podcasts are wonderful, but they are really hard work. I mean, really. Writing, editing, producing, promoting. It’s exhausting. A true labor of love. And I wanted that hard work to be in alignment with this work, because this work is wonderful to do. Happy Rebel lives up to that. You can get the Happy Rebel Podcast wherever you like to listen, except Amazon, because eff Jeff.
Season Two will drop the first week of April.
Oh, and I’m working on a book. Because who doesn’t have a podcast and isn’t writing a book, right?! I love being a cliche. But here’s the thing: All of this makes me happy. This is what I love doing. And I hope that you find some worth in it, that you get something out of it, too.
Thank you for coming along on this ride with me. The past year has been bumpy as fuck, and I hope that you are finding steadiness as you deepen your happiness. Everything changes for the better when you do. So let yourself.
Let’s get happier this year. Like really make the effort to make big, wonderful shifts. It’s changed my life for the better. And I want that for you, too.
And, if you want, please click that little heart and share this post with someone who’ll enjoy it. If you have any questions or a subject you’d like covered, put that in the chat or send a DM. And, as always, I’m a curious bird and would love to hear the firsts, seconds and thirds you’re experiencing so far.
Thanks so much, friends. I love that you’re here. See you next week! xo
