Limiting vs. Restrictive Beliefs

Hi, I’m Sandra. Welcome to The Happyist.

You might be familiar with the term “Limiting Beliefs”. These are beliefs we have that keep us stuck, and usually these beliefs were given to us by someone else.

It’s the raised eyebrow from family or friends when we talk about our dreams or plans. That hint that we aren’t qualified or deserving, or reaching beyond our station. It’s when past “proof” — and for those doing audio only, proof is in quotes — tells you what you can and cannot do, can or cannot achieve, or how far you can make it before you need to remember who you are and stop going for more.

Limiting beliefs are bullshit. But they really do have an effect. Take a moment and think back on the times you were stuck by a limiting belief. How did it feel? Did you feel it in your body? Did you have a tightness in your chest or a pit in your stomach? Tension in your back, neck or shoulders? A futhermucker of a headache? Or did you feel it emotionally? Were you angry, anxious, disappointed or sad?

Think back on the times you’ve felt stuck or experienced a “failure” — and, again, audio folks, failure is in quotes. What do you think caused it? Was there a limiting belief or three that contributed?

Yes, limiting beliefs suck hard. But, what’s worse is what I call Restrictive Beliefs. What’s the diff? Well…

Imagine a backyard. Or back garden, if you’re British-ish. And picture a fence around that yard or garden. That fence creates a boundary, a limit. Now, picture a puppy in that backyard. That puppy can run itself ragged through the whole of that backyard. That puppy can run all the way up to that fence and back and then to another side to the other fence, and that pup is having the time of its life. And, it’s been on walks, so it knows there are other places to go and things to do, but it can still have a pretty good time in this backyard. But, as the puppy grows and understands more of its world, that backyard loses its luster. But, when the pup is stuck in that backyard, it’s probably not running as much, or having such a good time. It’s probably just taking a nap now, waiting for a chance to be somewhere else.

That, to me, is a limiting belief.

Now, imagine that puppy in that fenced in backyard, tied to a post on a two-foot leash. That puppy sees all that space around it, all the opportunities to run and play, but can’t get started because it’s — you guessed it — restricted.

Restricted beliefs don’t even let you imagine what might be possible, what you could be capable of because, well, clearly, you’re not good enough, smart enough, talented enough. You don’t look right, talk right, walk right. You aren’t perfect. You’re too different. You’re too wrong. Don’t even think about trying. You’ll never have that. Ever.

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Interested in hearing more about choosing happiness? Join me and host Samantha Brinkman on her When Life Gives You Lemons podcast. xo